Mhmm! Get in line

By On April 16, 2010
Mhmmm! That’s what I’m talking about bitches! Some shit I can actually put to use! LOL.
Click on the images to view the full size.
Nike Shox running shoes… sweet. Love these.
Nail art pens (Cute! Can’t wait to try these but probably never will) and Duri Rejuvacote nail strengthener.
I’m pleased to also add I’ve finally got Myself an iPhone…   So you know what that means! Abusing bitches on the road! I’ve gone mobile! Hahaha… aren’t you lucky?
I’m seriously loving this fucking phone. It is awesome and I have no idea why I’ve waited so long to get one especially knowing I’d never even have to pay the bill Myself. Why would I when I have subbie fucks like you to pay it for Me?
You bitches will step over each other for the privilege of paying My monthly phone bill! Get in line, who’s next?
 

Priceless

By On April 15, 2010
So today out of boredom I was looking through some old YIM chat logs and found Myself laughing out loud at some of the priceless shit I have stored in there.
I thought I would share it with you all so you can laugh at how retarded some of these freaks are and see how I interact with My bitches.
Examples of random losers that get blocked within the first 3 minutes:
mesmeriiiizing   hello
shimmy.shakes   ?
mesmeriiiizing   happy Easter!
shimmy.shakes  thanks bitch, what are you going to do for Me
mesmeriiiizing   umm i want to call on Thursday
mesmeriiiizing   if is not too expensive
mesmeriiiizing   hopefully i can
mesmeriiiizing is being ignored
****
teeny_weeny**   hello Princess
shimmy.shakes   what the FUCK do you want
shimmy.shakes    ????????????
teeny_weeny**   i am sorry if i disturbed you.
teeny_weeny**   i am a little dicked sissy if you want me
shimmy.shakes   No I don’t want you
shimmy.shakes   Tribute first, then I might
teeny_weeny**   ok
shimmy.shakes   till then fuck off
teeny_weeny**   yes princess
teeny_weeny** is being ignored
Owned bitches that are part of My stable get far more attention from Me because they are tried, tested and true paying losers.  They still get the same dose of humiliation though… LOL
shimmy.shakes:  I’ll be going to the post office soon to mail your shit
shimmy.shakes:  you emailed me with your address right?
ch*d*_*ssi*:  yes Goddess
shimmy.shakes:  good bitch
ch*d*_*ss*:  You can always feel free to take Your time my Goddess 
ch*d*_*ss*:   I am lucky to be allowed to even bid
shimmy.shakes:  exactly
shimmy.shakes:  I don’t believe in providing “service”
shimmy.shakes:  LOL
shimmy.shakes: I sell on ebanned because it entertains Me to see you jerk offs like you bid on garbage
****
shimmy.shakes:   I sent you something else on twitter
(Message was: @ShimmysBitch I will make you tea-bag the Toronto maple leafs.)
*kma***s:   yes Ma’am, i see that! OMG, the twitter world knows the tea bag thing now! 
*kma***s:   You take no prisoners, Princess, You are not to be trifled with!
*kma***s:    i wonder if any of the maple leafs got a boner reading the post?
shimmy.shakes:   probably not
shimmy.shakes:   they probably want to kick you in the head
 

Life isn’t easy for a Princess!

By On April 13, 2010
Hey bitches! Here’s a massive amazon gift haul for you to drool over.
The funny thing is, I was really fucking annoyed opening up all these packages.  I need a maid or something to clean up after Me because the mess left behind is unbelievable.  Where does this shit even come from?  I can’t even remember who bought what! Hahahaha….
You turds love emptying your wallets out for Me on a weekly basis.  And rightfully so! How often is it that you get to be a part of the life of someone so spectacular such as Myself? That’s right, never! You whores are lucky I even let you buy Me shit! Just look what I had to carry from the car to my apartment elevator!
Click on the images to see the full size!
I brought most of this shit home in an XXL garbage bag and still had packages I had to carry.  The life of a Princess is not as easy as it looks!
Betsey Johnson heels…. loves it!
From top left to right: Cherry hair clips, cupcake design compact mirror, makeup bag, 3 luggage tags for when I go on vacation, lipgloss and another makeup bag and a semi ugly tattoo design purse I will be regifting. Hahahaha…
Kinder “Happy Hippo” chocolate and cigar shaped bubble gum. Mmmmm yum!
Bookends, mushroom shaped solar garden lights (loves it) and gourmet peanut brittle and candy.
The books on My wishlist got cleared out.  From top left to right: SEO for Dummies (x2), Seasons of the Witch 2010 weekly planner,  The Genie of the Universe Catalogue visualization kit, Mastery of Abundant Living law of attraction book, another fucking SEO for Dummies book, The Temple of High Witchcraft, Key to the Law of Attraction and two new Tarot decks.
** Oh and on a side note, you idiots bought Me three fucking SEO books. Brilliant. Even if it was only one book, I’d probably never end up reading it… but three?? Oh well, not My money! Hahaha.
Top left to right: Thigh highs, an ugly ass Hello Kitty checkbook wallet, Lancome lipgloss, MAC lipstick, Benefit Bad Gal Lash mascara, Too Faced eyeshadow kit, Smashbox lip palette, crystal anklet, 14K gold star shaped earrings and a Coach wristlet.
 
Hello Kitty tanktop and Obey the Oil Giant shirt.  Loves them both.
Cute dresses and thongs. Sweeeet.
Funny story… the guy at the UPS store is always cracking jokes about the amount of packages I receive and automatically assumes I have a huge shopping habit and am buying all this stuff for Myself… I laugh to Myself and think why the heck would I do that when I have losers all over the world who do it for Me?

LOL! Anyways, since I go by the name Princess for My UPS packages, today he asked Me if I’m some kind of royalty or something and says I should call Myself “Queen” instead of “Princess.”  I laughed out loud and just thought to Myself how funny it is that he unconsciously picked up on that.  It really restores My faith in mankind when laymen recognize this level of Superiority.  I personally think every single human being I come in contact with should be serving Me in one way or another…. hahaha…. but that’s just Me *insert angelic grin here.*

 

Love My UPS Box

By On March 31, 2010
Greetings dick smokers, more prezzie updates for you to gawk at.
My loyal servants and admirers love to keep Princess spoiled and pampered with useless shit I will probably never use.
Regardless of what I do with My gifts, keep ’em coming! Who needs holidays?
Hmmm… well, you do! But not Me because every day is Christmas in My Princess world!
Random flyby tributers and My number one bitch mark take the glory today.  Click on the images to see the full size.
Top left to right:  Swarovski Crystal tiara, Betsey Johnson makeup bags and another fucking Juicy Couture purse which I will probably be giving away.
  Left to right: Utterly Wicked spell book to put hexes on you bitches.
The first bits of My makeup wish list clear out are starting to trickle in: Cargo Blue Ray mattifier, Smashbox primer, cheapie Clean n’ Clear powder, Benefit Cupid’s Bow lip liner and Lancome foundation.

Cherry wood cigar humidor and lighter for My Boyfriend, courtesy of my newest cucky bitch.

Oh! And can’t forget the 20+ pairs of panties from a splurging panty bitch!

 

Tribute update

By On March 24, 2010

More prezzies and ca$h. Most of these came from My high dollar hoes mark and My local footbitch.
Click on the images the see the full size.

 Dreamgirl “Bride to Be” lingerie and thong.
Wen hair conditioner, Incense Oils and Brews book and a $400 blank money order
Fortuna “Lady Luck” Goddess statue and gourmet cheese gift basket (hehe)

 

And finally $1000 cold, hard cash (my favourite form of tribute) from My local footbitch.
Isn’t Canadian money sooooo pretty? Love it.

My hoes on Ebanned have been battling it out for this “Shimmy’s bitch” dog tag.
It’s at $140 already and there is still 5 days left on the auction, lol!